As you can probably tell from the title of this blog post, children are mean... and I have to preach to them.

This Sunday, which for me is tomorrow, I have been called upon by my church to deliver a small sermon to about 30 children... and my whole church. As a debater... I am a little bit apprehensive about this because I’m not used to having to present arguments to anyone below my age group. I do, however, like a good challenge... so I took on the kids.

I have been asked to prepare a story for them that illuminates a truth connected to a Bible passage. I’ve been told that when you are asked to speak about something, you need to talk about what you know about. I know a lot about 5 things: Psychology, Debating, Sleeping, School, and Friends. I chose what I believed to be the interesting to my target audience, friends.
It is true that I know a lot about friends, but, I would say, my area of expertise is knowing about good friends. My friends span the globe (the IB would be very proud of this as they want us to be internationally-minded) and vary in shape, sex, political affiliation, and perspective. There are only three things that they really have in common: They are all smart, they all give great hugs, and they’re all very good friends.

My friends are there for me through thick and thin, offering wisdom and companionship, even if they’re far away. They argue with me about the value of reading books like "Stalking Jack the Ripper", the merits of communism over libertarian values, and the value of traditional gender roles in different countries. Now... though I find these topics riveting, I didn’t think a bunch of 6 year olds would like to hear about Mao’s blood filled revolution and his little red book, so I talked about how my friends make me a better person.

Here is the speech I wrote for them:

"Good morning Church, good morning fellow young people, and good morning children.

My name is Kathlyn and the Lord has called me today, through Mrs. Hyacinth Manners, to deliver the children’s time story.

Who here likes going to school? *then i pick someone* why? *when somebody says that they like seeing their friends, I’ll say* "I like seeing my friends too!

That’s actually what I’m here to talk to you all about today, friendship. I have really cool friends. They’re so cool! I mention them because the Bible tells us to be careful about how we choose our friends. When I was little my dad would tell me "birds of a feather flock together." What he meant was that people who like similar things and act similarly, m0ve together. Our Heavenly Father tells us something very similar in the Bible, in Proverbs Chapter 13 Verse 20 he says "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm."

This is true, it doesn’t even matter how smart you are. When I was little and living in Atlanta I had a friend named Stefanie, she was very smart and very fun, like all of you. I moved away from her to come here to the BVI. Last year I saw her again, she was getting in fights and was fighting with her parents. When I spoke to her, she was the same person, but the company that she kept changed how she conducted herself.

On the other hand, when I was small I had a friend named Ky-Vinh, he was a bit of a trouble maker when we were small. He would try to get out of class by faking a fainting spell. He loved to dramatically fall to the floor so he could go to the nurse's office. but when I saw him again, last year, he was completely different. He was not getting in trouble and he was getting good grades. What changed? He made better friends who steered him away from making bad decisions. Now, he’s an amazing tennis player and too tired to get into trouble.

In the same book but 14 chapters later God tells us that "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." If you, like me, know very little about welding then here is another way of thinking about what he said: A good friend will make you a better "sharper"pe rson and you will also make them a better "sharper" person. This is where I’d like to tell you about my friends. Five of my best friends all sharpen me in different ways, their names are Rachel, Jhaunte, Jade, Jennifer, and Tiana.

I have known Rachel since before I knew the skin on my body was brown and before I knew the hair on my head was black. She knows me better than I know myself. How does she sharpen me? In a very simple way, she stops my migraines. I have frequent migraines, they are headaches that stop me from being able to do anything. They stop me from eating, or sleeping, or dancing... three things that I LOVE to do. When Rachel hears my breathing change she knows I have a migraine coming. She grabs my head and she massages it until the headache goes away. In doing this, she sharpens me as a person so that I can go through my day without pain and hopefully make someone else feel as free from pressure as she made me feel.

Another one of my friends, Jhaunte (who is actually here today), has been my friend for 9 years. He sharpens me because he shows me how to be a kinder person. If I’m having a bad day at school, which happens more frequently than you’d think because math does not like me, he gives me a hug, sprinkles some words of wisdom on me, and the next day he brings me a chocolate bar. My auntie Alice says that "when there is a need, Christians should be there to fill it" He does this, without anyone asking him to, out of the kindness of his heart. He sharpens me because he gives me a model of how to be a better and kinder person and how to be a better Christian. Many Sundays we sing the hymn "They will know we are Christian by our love". When I do kind things as he shows me how to do, people know I’m a Christian by my love.

Jade, my best friend in the whole world, sharpens me because she shows me what it means to be a good friend and a better student. She studies with me at 3 in the morning and at 11 in the night. She pushes me to do well on my assignments by being a shoulder to cry on when my word document clears itself and by tutoring me through the confusion letters and numbers that is algebra... like quadratic inverses... what is that? She makes me better every day.

Jennifer has been my friend for 3 years. She lives 12 hours and 4 thousand miles away from us in Beijing China. She sharpens me with her wit. Jennifer, or Jen as I call her (which she hates), can find a hilarious silver lining to anything that is happening in my life. In addition to adding hilarious anecdotes and self-deprecating jokes to the future book that I hope to write, she also makes me a better writer. Once a month we write each other a letter outlining the major events in our lives. We are, as she calls us, "Penpals for the 21st century". In my first few letters, she ridiculed my grammar so brutally that I learned how to use commas. This is 112% true, she threw so much shade at me that I had to learn how to use commas. In doing so she’s sharpened my grammar skills and my ability to laugh at my failings. The sooner I’m able to laugh, the sooner I’m able to get up and try again.

Lastly, I’ve known my friend Tiana for 8 years. We met at my dad’s pottery studio when we were 8 years old. She was the first friend that I made upon coming back to the BVI because kids used to make fun of me for "yanking" and nobody wanted to talk to me. She gave me a friend and confidant who understood the struggles I faced after coming to the BVI after many years abroad. She had a similar experience, as she’d moved here the same year. Since we are very similar people with very similar personalities she shows me my blind spots, like if I am accidentally mean to someone if they ask me my opinion or if in an attempt to comfort someone I tap them on the back a little bit too hard. She sharpens my self-awareness and my bedside manner.

My friends, in their own special ways, sharpen me. Since I’ve told you all about how my friend sharpen me, how do your friends sharpen you?"

I think they’ll enjoy it. I’d also love to hear about how your friends sharpen you.